Image: Cathryn Virginia. VICE Media makes a small commission on products linked in this article. Taking a good naked photo is harder than it looks, even if professionals Instagram influencers, sex workers, and Reddit models make it look easy. Grabbing your smartphone and pointing it at yourself isn't going to give you good results—you're going to need to buy some better stuff. I asked nude selfie experts for advice on how to strike the perfect naked pic, and their suggestions apply to anyone with a body and a desire to get flirty with their camera phone.
Nude is a term that gives me the creeps. Nude were the stockings I flipped past when I started wearing them as a teenager, preferring warm bronze colors in summer and dark coppery stockings in the winter. Bold red, ghostly white, or glittery lips were what called me out of the tasteful, painfully alienated, and safely ordered Waspy world into which I was born, and from which I yearned to flee. Nudes were what the portrait photographer showed me when I applied to be his assistant. He informed me that the soft-focus, warm-toned prints were not dirty pictures, but rather high-art testaments to the young naked women who posed in the safety of his studio. He said he kept the photos in the darkroom rather than displaying them in the reception area because the public would not understand his art; his artful nude test was his way of hazing a young woman with ambitions to break into the masculine bastion of portrait photography.
So: you've decided to answer a suitor's request to "send nudes" with your real, live, naked body not photos that feature lust-worthy piles of zucchini noodles, which is my favorite shutdown. If you're new to the sexting game, you may feel nervous. As a very thirsty lady, I've sent my fair share of tastefully naked pictures. I'm here to demystify the process. Read on to learn the seven steps that work every time I feel like baring it all.
The email correspondence leading up to Miss A's boudoir experience told me that we were going to have a fabulous damn time. She told me that she's never done anything like this before, she'd never even had her makeup professionally done, and that she was awkward in pictures. As you can see by the myriad of blog posts and client photos, not a single one of them look awkward. That's part of the magic of the KMB experience. This woman was so awesome, we had an absolute blast, and I'm obsessed with her final images.